Tuesday, January 26, 2010

"Rainbows" or "It's Complicated" or what you will.

I am at the Cannon Beach Christian Conference center, one of my favorite places in the world. Our staff is on a Prayer Summit here for a few days, which, I must admit, has never been all that appealing to me.
But I do realize that for some, this is something they look forward to all year. I'm ok with that, because they will meet with God and I would wish that for anyone.
I'm just more of a private, one-on-one prayer-er, or a word like that, that means "I pray". My most profound times of worship have been at times when I have been alone with God. People usually are surprised to hear that of me, being the worship guy at a large church. Oh well.
So when our Childrens Pastor suggested that we "Spend an Hour" with Jesus alone, I was there.

The exercise was to go off alone without any distractions and just spend time with Jesus- no cell phone, no computer, you can bring your bible but don't read what you would usually read for your bible study- no distractions at all.
The room we were in overlooked the beach and Ecola Creek through large glass picture windows which my love seat was in front of. So as the rest of the staff went their own ways to meet with Jesus, I got up, turned the sofa toward the sea and laid out my stuff for an hour with Him, too. I stretched out my legs, rested my feet on the window sill and contemplated how this hour would be spent.

A couple minutes into my meditation, a voice behind me said, "Do you mind if I sit down?"
"Yeah, no problem," I stuttered, gathering my pen, paper and bible from the seat next to me. Looking up I saw no one.

Thank you, Lord, I thought. You're here.

We sat for a bit just staring at the waves. The previous night had brought the tide right up to the sea wall in front of the windows and debris from the river was strewn and floating all over the waterscape. The sky was gray, bespeckled with patches of dull blue. It was beautiful. To me.
A small stream of a rainbow was starting in the middle of the horizon.

"Lord? How do you make a rainbow?"
He looked toward the horizon, lifted His arm and pointed.

"I take my finger and I point to the edge of the horizon. And as I move my finger in an arc toward the center of the sky, an invisible cascade of flowing colors caress the pallid clouds and rest upon the azure palette of the welcoming sky."

My heart felt like it would explode. With my eyes wide and brimming with tears, I looked at my Lord and Savior and asked, "Really?"
He lowered his arm, looked at me, smiled and said, "No, not really."

"The process is complex and it's intricacies far beyond your comprehension. In it's relation to time, you would assume it's development and evolution would take millions of years- to understand. I created this world. I wanted to remind you of that."
"And it is beautiful," he added.

"So it's no accident," I concluded aloud, staring at the newly formed rainbow. He turned his face to me.
"Are you?"
After a long pause, I replied, "I don't know."
"I've been wondering lately 'what's the point', 'what's my purpose', and I haven't found any answers."
Again, my heart felt like it would explode. "Can You tell me?"

He moved forward off the couch and facing me sat on the sill of the picture window.
"The process is complex and it's intricacies far beyond your comprehension. In relation to time, you would assume your development and evolution would take millions of years- to understand. I created this world... for you. If you were not here, it would serve no purpose."

He paused, turned, then pointed to the newly formed second rainbow.

"And it is beautiful," He said turning back to me.

Then closing one eye, He stretched out His arm, took His finger and drew an arc from one shoulder to the other over my head.


  1. Beautifully written thoughts, Mila. I felt like I was there in that room, eavesdropping on your converstion with God.